Friday, March 5, 2010
How To Know If It's Time To Go: A Book Review
A controversial look at whether a marriage can be saved—or if it's “time to go.” For the millions caught in unhappy marriages, consumed by sadness, anger, and fear, the question haunts: “Should I divorce?” Now, in their insightful new book, a husband-and-wife team of marriage experts helps readers find the answer by taking them through ten steps to determine if their relationship has reached the breaking point. While Drs. Birnbach and Hyman do not advocate divorce, they point out that the most desirable situation—a happy long-term marriage—may simply not be possible in some cases. The book also discusses how the lives of people who stay in chronically unhappy marriages compare with those who split up. Filled with poignant case studies, cutting-edge research, and a 100-question self-assessment to determine if it's “time to go,” this unique guide dispels the myths about divorce and enables readers to recognize if there is still hope . . . or if they (and their families) are better off apart.
About The Author:
Dr. Lawrence Birnbach is a psychoanalyst who specializes in working with individuals and couples in troubled relationships. He has an ongoing mental health column in The Westport News and is a frequent speaker on this subject. Dr. Beverly Hyman is an internationally known business and organizational consultant specializing in conflict management. She is a consultant to several United Nations agencies, through which she is involved in addressing the concerns of women and families.
Dr. Hyman has been a featured speaker at national and international conferences, including: The United Nations Conference to End the Decade for Women; The National Human Resources Conference of the American Management Association; The AFL-CIO Professional Employees Conferences, and many others. The authors are both previously divorced and remarried (to each other).
Anyone who has ever experienced the breakdown, and subsequent divorce of a marriage knows how incredibly difficult the journey is. Now comes a book that will not only give the couple a plan of action when dealing with marriage problems, there is also a wonderful section in the book that deals with how divorce will impact children. In fact, all of chapters 10 to 14 deal with this issue.
Wonderful tips are given with regards to how to explain the separation and divorce depending on the ages of children involved, how a child's self esteem will be inpacted, and also the impact of divorce/separation on adolescents. I love that the most important point the author's make is to always make sure that any children involved are able to keep self esteems intact.
They assert that this can occur through a few ways, but most importantly, the parents not belittling one another, or arguing with one another, in front of the children. You will learn how to avoid conflict, introduce new partners to your children, how not to send mixed messages, and divide time with children as equally as possible, and how to handle extended family and grandparents.
If you are experiencing a difficult marriage and contemplating a divorce or separation, this would be a fabulous resource. Through a series of questions, the reader can determine whether there is a marriage to save, or if in fact it is time to move on. The writers are not advocating divorce, there are just some situations where help and willingness to "work things out" just cannot occur! Topics included are: finances, dealing with property, children and many other issues a struggling marriage will deal with.
As a Christian, I always thought divorce was wrong but in recent years, I have come to the believe the same as these authors, sometimes its just too little too late. The only issue I wish the writers could have discussed was how to deal with adult children in a divorce of parents who have been married many years. I say this because my parents are in process of divorcing after 35 years of marriage (many of those, unhappy).
I feel this book was very well written and it was also a very easy, and quick read. I highly recommend it and give it a thumbs up. This book is available March 2010
BUY IT: You can purchase this book online through your local bookseller, as well as online through Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
WIN IT: One reader will win a copy of How To Know If It's Time To Go: A 10-Step Reality Test for Your Marriage by Dr. Lawrence Birnbach and Dr. Beverly Hyman
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GIVEAWAY OPEN TO U.S. AND CANADIAN RESIDENTS
GIVEAWAY ENDS MARCH 26, 2010
GOOD LUCK TO ALL!
****Thank you to Sterling Publishing and The Product Review Place for providing a complimentary copy of this book and the opportunity to review it on this blog ****