With Valentine's Day only five days away, we are being bombarded with advertising on television and radio about the best gifts to give this year to your loved one. Seriously, as beautiful as jewelry and flowers are, it is just stuff.
"Stuff" is not what makes a marriage.
Marriages can only last when both partners are willing to work at them. There has to be strong communication, love, mutual respect, mutual interests (some, not all), taking time for one another, trust and so many other things to make a marriage strong.
If you are in a Christian marriage, then God MUST be at the center of your marriage. Without Him, I don't know how my marriage has survived through cancer, infertility, financial and marriage crisis', becoming parents of two children in two year, and more! God has taught us so much over the last 14 years and I am so glad to be married to my best friend.
Whether you are in a Christian marriage or not, one of the most important things you can do is to spend time with one another. Regardless of what is going on in your life, be it kids, work, hobbies, etc, if you do not take time to nourish your marriage, it is not going to grow and a stalled marriage is a dying marriage.
How do you feel when your husband showers you with attention, or shows an interest in something you love? For myself, I thrive on attention from others. To hear that my husband loves something that I have done, or wants to watch a "chick flick" (when I know that is not his thing) just makes my day. As much as we hope and sometimes expect our husbands to "do things" to fill our love tanks, they deserve, and need, their love tanks filled as well.
Over the next five days, I am going to give you a daily mini-project to complete so you can love your man on purpose! These are courtesy of The Husband Project: 21 Days Of Loving Your Man - On Purpose and With A Plan, by Kathi Lipp. You can see my full review here. Part of the planning of The Husband Project is to keep it a secret from your husband, so treat your projects just like you would if you were planning a surprise party....SHH!!!! It is so worth it in the end!
Without further delay, here is Day One's Project!
30 Minutes is All it Takes
Create Some Free Time When He Gets Home
“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
Your Project:Focus on your husbands transitional 30 minutes today. Would he like to be left alone to rest and rejuvenate, or does he want some undivided attention from you? The point is to let your husband know you value what he does out in the world, and that he has a safe loving place to come home and get refreshed at the end of the day.
There are plenty of reasons why it might not be easy for you to give your husband some transition time at the end of the day. You need to look at what can work for your relationship. Be creative, like the stories listed below. Brainstorm with your friends until you find a situation that will work for you and your guy.
- My friend, Joann, purposely scheduled her daughter’s dance classes twice a week at the same hour that her husband gets home from work. That way, her hubby comes home to an empty house. He gets some quiet, and she gets a more peaceful man.
- One husband has his workshop out in the garage. His wife encourages him to go and hang out there for a while before dinner. (Since starting this arrangement, her husband has started helping out with the after-dinner clean up. Nice side benefit.)
- Crockpots are The Husband Project’s best friend. Set your crockpot to be finished thirty minutes after your husband gets home from work. Let him know that you don’t need anything until dinner is ready. Don’t know a crockpot from a flower pot? Check out the recipes in The Ultimate Guide to Man Food at www.kathilipp.com
- Does your husband already have a great transition routine after getting home? Find some other little thing to bless that time. Maybe it’s making sure the TV is available, his favorite sweats are clean and ready to be changed into, or there’s a cold soda waiting for him in the fridge. It may be so small that he doesn’t even notice. That’s okay – you’ll know what you did.
- What if your husband works from home? Maybe the best way to help him relax is to ask what he would like the schedule to be. Does he want dinner before or after he gets some time to recharge? Ask him what would make his night better.
My Project Report:
For the last couple weeks, I have purposely had our girls clean up all their toys in the living room just shortly before Daddy gets home. I then tell them, "When Daddy gets home, give him a hug, say I love you, and then go to your room to play until I get you for supper". This gives daddy about a half hour to do what he wants. Whether its watching the nightly news, sleep for a bit, go on the computer, or have a conversation with me, he can do what he wants in an uninterrupted time period.
Instead of being bombarded by children and me as soon as he walks in the door, he comes home to a relaxed (most of the time) environment. This allows him to transition nicely to our evening routines and just decompress from his day. He noticed this new pattern of routine almost right away and after the first week, stated, "thank you for allowing me some "daddy time" it is making a huge difference". I am so glad that my girls are working with me on this. There are days where "daddy time out" (my four year old calls it this) might be a little shorter or not happen due to other things going on, but it has be a very welcome part of our day.
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!
HOW CAN YOU CREATE SOME FREE TIME FOR YOUR HUSBAND WHEN HE GET'S HOME?
IF YOU ARE A BLOGGER, I WOULD LOVE YOU TO JOIN ME IN THE NEXT FIVE DAYS AS WE LOVE ON OUR HUSBANDS! BLOG ABOUT YOUR PLAN AND HOW IT GOES, AND COME BACK AND LEAVE ME A LINK SO I CAN ENCOURAGE YOU IN YOUR HUSBAND PROJECT!
IF YOU'RE NOT A BLOGGER, EMAIL ME AT aandsrempel at yahoo dot ca WITH YOUR PLANS AND THE RESULTS! I WOULD LOVE TO ENCOURAGE YOU AS WELL!
Be blessed today as you love on your husbands!