Say No. Set Limits. Stop Bratty Behavior in Its Tracks. It's easy to fall into the 'entitlement trap.' You may find yourself so involved with your child's happiness that you lose sight of what your child really needs to make him or her a self-sufficient, well-balanced human being. Parenting expert and bestselling author Donna Corwin knows what that feels like because she's been there herself. After years of struggling to give her daughter whatever she wanted, Corwin realized that instead of boosting her child's self-confidence and making her happy, her daughter was actually less equipped to handle adversity, exercise patience, or develop healthy life skills. Corwin soon realized that this needed to change and set about reversing the negative behaviors, and she did so with great success! Now in Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me, she gives you the means to do the same, with: Self-evaluation tools to organize parenting priorities, set limits, and reward good behavior in a healthy way Insightful case studies of parenting styles that create 'entitled' behavior, as well as ways to break the cycle Compassionate guidance that allows you to evaluate your relationships with your parents and understand how they influence your parenting style Ways to filter the negative messages that bombard your children from TV, the web, and peer pressure Methods for creating a balanced family dialogue and for promoting core values regarding finances, chores, and manners It's never too late to begin creating the positive habits and behaviors that will give you back parental control. With Corwin's help, you'll soon be able to set consistent limits, build honest communication, and share the kind of love that will build your child's character and create a peaceful and stable home life.
Read An Excerpt:
Entitled children are created, not born. I became a Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me parent early on. Not wanting to deprive my princess of anything, I indulged her until she started to get used to the good life. In fact, I trained her so well that, like Pavlov's dog, when we entered a shopping mall, she didn't start to salivate or bark, but she did whine incessantly. If I passed a shop without buying her something, passed the food court without getting her a cookie (even before dinner), or didn't run around like a crazy person to find her the same super, strappy, pink flip-flops that all of her friends had, she would torture me until I gave in. But secretly, I wanted to indulge her demands. I wanted her to be happy, to love her mommy who gave her everything. I was slowly creating a live, full-blown entitled beast a child whose voracious appetite for things, for getting her own way, and for lack of boundaries was out-of-control. I knew that something was terribly wrong but was stuck in the narcissistic pattern of giving in to her 'give me, get me, buy me' demands. Many well-meaning parents bow to the demands of their children early on not wanting to upset the poor dears. There is a parental fear that not complying with a child's demands will create an angry, frustrated child. Parents fear losing favor with their children. The subliminal message is 'If I don't give, I am not a good enough parent.' Parents fail to consider the bigger psychological problems that can occur when children lack discipline, boundaries, and humility. When my child became a teen, the stakes got higher. Forget toys and pink sandals. We're now talking cars and Prada bags. But, with inner strength, a lot of support, and a desire to end the Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me madness, I started to change the entitled child attitude. In our money-centered society, this has not been an easy task. Parents who I talk with about falling into the entitlement trap utter one overwhelming mantra: 'We want to take charge and begin to get control of our families.' Overindulgence is not just about material objects. When we are hesitant to say no to our children for fear that they will withdraw their love or have a tantrum, we are doing ourselves and them a terrible disservice. Children will have a difficult time when they go to school, begin a job, and try to have friendships if they do not have limits and boundaries. Entitled children will always want to come first, and that is not how the real world functions. They will always have a sense of frustration. Parents must take the reigns and monitor their children's activities and not give in so readily to demands. It took me a while to realize the off button is in my hands not my child's and in this book, I will help you to press this button. Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me is a parenting book about the child who says, 'I want it now do everything for me,' and the parents who live in a world of mixed messages and confusion."
About The Author:
Donna Corwin is a national parenting spokesperson for Plus Media's Satellite Media and Live Television tours. She has appeared on over fifty national news and morning shows, including Fox News, NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, Newswatch, and the Daily Buzz. Corwin has also appeared as a parenting guest expert on numerous television and radio shows, including Oprah Winfrey's Oxygen Network, The Rolanda Watts Show, The Other Half, Home and Family, and several times as a parenting expert on The Leeza Show, Good Morning Denver, Good Morning Utah, ABC radio andParents Journal on NPR. Corwin's articles on parenting have appeared in several national magazines. She has been a lecturer on parenting issues for the Motion Picture Wellness Program and the Educational Records Bureau (ErB) convention. Corwin has written eight parenting books including the bestselling Time-Out for Toddlers, now in its twentieth printing.
If you are a parent if you haven't heard the words, "get me, give me or buy me" yet...you will. But to hear those words does not mean a battle will ensue. Because it doesn't have to. Those are pretty normal, developmentally appropriate things for children to say. However, it's in how we, as the adults, deal with it that will make those words a battle or a teachable moment.
Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me by Donna Corwin is a remarkable book, easy to read with many wonderful techniques to deal with entitlement in our children. It is adaptable for children of all ages and can be used in any family situation. A perfect read for any parent, no matter how long you have been one.
I highly recommend this book and give it a huge thumbs up!
BUY IT: You can purchase Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me: Preventing or Reversing Entitlement in Your Child's Attitude online at Amazon
***I received a complimentary copy of this book, courtesy of Thomas Allen, for the purpose of review on this blog. All opinions expressed are my own, and I have not been compensated in any other manner***