Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Surviving An Affair: A Book Review

About The Book:

How can a marriage survive an affair?

Infidelity is one of life's most painful experiences for everyone involved--the betrayed spouse, the children, the extended family members, and even the lover and the wayward spouse. Once trust is broken, how can a couple ever hope to reconcile? 

In Surviving an Affair, Drs. Harley and Chalmers help you understand every aspect of infidelity--from the beginning of an affair through the restoration of the marriage, including

· why affairs begin and end
· how to end an affair
· how to restore the marriage
· how to manage resentment and rebuild trust

Surviving an Affair guides you step-by-step from the devastating blow of infidelity to a loving and trusting marriage.

If you are a victim of infidelity, you are on the emotional roller coaster ride of your life. 

Drs. Harley and Chalmers know what they're talking about. Almost every day they hear from grieving spouses who say, Please help me. I have just discovered that my spouse is having an affair and I don't know what to do.

In Surviving an Affair, they provide answers to those who find themselves caught in this common tragedy. From the moment an affair is first suspected all the way to full marital recovery, they provide a thorough analysis of the problem with step-by-step proven solutions.

Surviving an Affair will do more than help you and your spouse survive the crisis of infidelity--it will show you how to minimize your suffering and emerge from this tragedy with your trust and love for each other restored.

About The Authors:

Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr. is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including His Needs, Her NeedsFive Steps to Romantic LoveLove Busters; and Draw Close. Harley's most-loved book, His Needs, Her Needs, is also now available as a video curriculum for churches and small groups. His popular website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem.

My Review:

Everyone who is married knows that marriage is not always roses and sunshine, whether you are a Christian couple or not. It is hard work, but in the end, when you look at both the easy and difficult times there are lessons to learn! And going through the journey with your best friend is worth each step taken. 

My husband and I have been married almost 16 years and we have dealt with issues that  many couples face - infertility, financial struggle, transitioning to becoming parents, death of loved ones, premature birth of a child (and subsequent NICU stay) moving away from family and more. Many of these were just bumps on the road we call life and we made it through, with God guiding us each step of the way. 

We have also experienced crisis' that caused us to really wonder if we could have made it through. Had we not had the strong desire to not break up our marriage, and not had a strong faith that God would continue to guide us despite our sinful nature and choices we would have divorced a long time ago. However, that was not God's plan for us. Through a series of experiences, lots of tears and much communication, we made it through and we are a much stronger couple for it. 

I know that working through marital problems takes two, and though I would have loved things to progress faster then they did at times, I could only do things to change me and pray for our marriage. One of the things I did was read books about marriage and being the wife that God wants me to be. One author I read was Willard F. Harley Jr. (His Needs, Her Needs) and now I am so excited to have read his most recent book, Surviving An Affair.

Just because a marriage deals with an affair (be it physical, emotional, or online) does not mean it has to end. Harley and Chalmers do a fantastic job in helping couples to face an affair head on, work through the emotions that will be involved (and there are many!), and deal with the whole aspect of leaving the affair in the proper fashion (not always a cut and dry situation). The book is very easy to read but will be an emotional read, particular if you or someone you know is in the situation of having gone through an extra-marital affair. 

The steps that the authors give for surviving an affair are so good, I especially loved the chapters that discussed our "love banks" and how to make deposits and what happens when we make withdrawals. The book really analyzes why an affair happens and how to best come through it for complete restoration and healing. The book flows well, and offers a lot of opportunity for self reflection for both the betrayer and spouse. It is a valuable resource for all couples who have come through an affair, as well as a perfect resource for a Pastor to have in their personal and professional library.

I highly recommend this book and give it a huge thumbs up!

BUY IT: You can purchase Surviving An Affair at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.

***I received a complimentary copy of this book, courtesy of Graf-Martin Communications Inc., and Baker Publishing Group, for the purpose of review on this blog. All opinions expressed are my own, and I have not been compensated in any other manner***

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