Thursday, November 14, 2013

Related By Chance, Family By Choice: A Blog Tour and Book Review

About The Book:

Transforming Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationships. What does it take to create true family unity between moms and the women who marry their sons?
The caricatures are everywhere, the jokes are inexhaustible, and the stereotypes fill the screens. From Marie Barone (Everyone Loves Raymond) to Viola Fields (Monster-in-Law) to Internet sites and social media pages like and a Facebook page for ihatemymotherinlaw there is no shortage of examples of the caustic relationships that can develop between the two women in a man’s life.
Deb DeArmond and her three daughters-in-law have conducted their own exhaustive research into the status of the women-in-law relationship. Their research, which incorporated online surveys, interviews, and discussions, included asking about the faith factor in the relationships they studied. Of the respondents, nearly 90 percent claimed they were Christians, and 79 percent said their faith was foundational and guided their actions and decisions. As discouraging as it may be, the numbers of those they surveyed who reported that their women-in-law relationships were “bad” were nearly identical to those in a survey conducted by a popular secular website that recorded no statistics on faith.
Beyond the statistics and their analysis, Deb brings to this book more than thirty years working with adults to improve communications and deal constructively with conflict. Aside from her research and her professional expertise, perhaps the most important asset Deb brings to this work is her own relationship with her three daughters-in-law that is so obviously and unusually positive that she—and they—are often asked to explain the secret of the relationships they share.
This practical and unapologetically scriptural book covers issues of personal perceptions, strained communication, the roles of sons and fathers in the relationship’s success, how to begin these relationships on the right foot, and the necessity of trust and love. Deb’s one motivating objective is to help women-in-law move from women who are simply related to strong and confident members of a truly spiritual family.
About The Author:
Deb DeArmond has owned her own leadership training and executive coaching practice for fifteen years. She is an experienced speaker and writer with work appearing in "WHOA" Magazine and "Dallas Family" Magazine and a cofounder of—an online community for Christian women 50+. Deb and her husband, Ron, have three married sons and three grandchildren, and live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. Find out more at
My Thoughts:
I have been married for 16 years, and am very fortunate that I have a mother-in-law that not only do I love with all my heart but also like. Sure, over the course of 16 years there have been times when we did not agree, but ultimately God brought us together through her son and I will always be grateful for the relationship they have and the one we have built over the course of the years gone by. 
This book came into my life at a pivotal point, with my mother-in-law battling cancer, which we are to believe is terminal. This is the first parent on both our sides that is terminally ill and is a new season in our lives, both personally and in our marriage. This book has been a very good read as it scripturally lays out what a in-law relationship can, and should be. Not all are however, and it also shares tips and personal accounts of how to deal with a difficult mother-in-law relationship. 
As I look at our relationship I know we both have baggage that we carried into our marriage, and so do my in-laws. I loved how the authors have shown how to love despite baggage, grow despite it and learn from our mistakes to have a healthy and God pleasing relationship. I really liked the questions and relflection sections at the end of each chapter that allows for deep thought about the mother/daughter in law relationship. Even if you don't have a great relationship with your mother in law/daugther in law, this is a worthwhile read to be sure. 
This would be a fantastic gift idea for any bride or newlywed woman, and I highly recommend it.
BUY IT: You can purchase Related by Chance, Family by Choice online here. 
***I received a complimentary copy of this book, courtesy of Litfuse Publicity Group, for the purpose of review on this blog. All opinions expressed are my own, and I have not been compensated in any other manner***


  1. Shirley, thank you so much for your kind review. As Christ followers, we can and should make this relationship work! It honors God and the man-in-the-middle! - Thanks, Deb DeArmond, author of Related By Chance, Family By Choice

  2. Shirley, thank you so much for your kind review. As Christ followers, we can and should make this relationship work! It honors God and the man-in-the-middle! - Thanks, Deb DeArmond, author of Related By Chance, Family By Choice