Thursday, October 8, 2015
Forgiveness and Moving On.....
They can build up and they can tear down.
They can start a relationship, end one, strengthen one or weaken one.
Words are powerful.
How one uses words can change a person's life in a moment.
In recent years, I have been hurt by words spoken from those I considered to be friends. And I know I have used less than stellar words in response. I have struggled to move past these situations, full of hurt and regret, trying to fix it on my own, and questioning myself as a person along the journey of self discovery.
This journey has been full of anger, it's been painful, it's been hard, and I am done with it! I know now what has to be done. And so I am letting go.
Letting go of the hurt,
letting go of the anger,
letting go of the bitterness,
of the regret.
I know I cannot do this on my own strength. I have to surrender ALL of this to Him. He is the only one that will take this and allow me to forgive. Forgiveness is what is needed. Whether I ever talk to these people who have hurt me deeply ever again is not the issue. As much as I would love to fix these situations (I am a fixer at heart) and repair the relationships involved, I know that it is likely not going to happen. And that is okay (wow, it has been hard to grasp that and say it out loud).
So now I must choose to move on and part of that journey is to forgive. Only in forgiveness will I be able to open up and be truly honest with the amazing people God has placed in my life. And only then can I truly progress in my journey to true holiness. More importantly though, I was reminded tonight that I am commanded to forgive.
Matthew 6:14 says, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
This stopped me in my tracks; I had not forgiven yet, and it was also several friends that reminded how important forgiveness is to this journey I am on. It is a journey to holiness that is not been easy. It has been painful and hard and I have truly hated parts of it, and cried many tears, but it is a process that will last a lifetime. It is a process that I have to go through and one that I absolutely will never walk alone. Jesus will be there each step of the way.
Because He died on the cross for the sins of the world and forgives me I know I need to forgive those who have hurt me, disappointed me, and also, I need to forgive myself, and know I have done all I can in these situations and move on.
For far too long I have let these experiences define me. They don't any longer!
I want to be known for my love for others and for Him only! To shine His mercy, grace and forgiveness to the dark world around me. I am ready to walk a new path and be stronger because of the past!
So tonight, I forgive. Even though those I am truly, 100% forgiving will likely not read these words, I forgive them, and only wish the best for them, wherever their journey takes them.
I am choosing joy tonight.
I am choosing forgiveness tonight.
I am choosing to be the women God wants me to be.