Thursday, October 8, 2015

Forgiveness and Moving On.....



They've made me feel like a prisoner
They've made me feel set free
They've made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king

They've lifted my heart
To places I'd never been
And they've dragged me down
Back to where I began

Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

You can heal the heartache
Speak over the fear
(Speak over the fear)
God, Your voice is the only thing
We need to hear
(We need to hear)

Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts or
Put it out

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
(Back to You)

Let the words I say
(Let the words I say)
Be the sound of Your grace
(Sound like Your grace)
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

I wanna speak Your love
Not just another noise
Oh, I wanna be Your light
I wanna be Your voice

Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
(Back to You)

Let the words I say
(Let the words I say)
Be the sound of Your grace
(Sound like Your grace)
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You
(Back to You)

Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts
Or put it out

I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

Hawk Nelson


Words. 

They can build up and they can tear down. 

They can start a relationship, end one, strengthen one  or weaken one. 

Words are powerful. 

How one uses words can change a person's life in a moment.

In recent years, I have been hurt by words spoken from those I considered to be friends. And I know I have used less than stellar words in response. I have struggled to move past these situations, full of hurt and regret, trying to fix it on my own, and questioning myself as a person along the journey of self discovery. 

This journey has been full of anger, it's been painful, it's been hard, and I am done with it! I know now what has to be done. And so I am letting go. 

Letting go of the hurt, 
letting go of the anger,
 letting go of the bitterness,
 and 
letting go 
of the regret. 

 I know I cannot do this on my own strength. I have to surrender ALL of this to Him. He is the only one that will take this and allow me to forgive. Forgiveness is what is needed. Whether I ever talk to these people who have hurt me deeply ever again is not the issue. As much as I would love to fix these situations (I am a fixer at heart)  and repair the relationships involved, I know that it is likely not going to happen. And that is okay (wow, it has been hard to grasp that and say it out loud). 

 So now I must choose to move on and part of that journey is to forgive. Only in forgiveness will I be able to open up and be truly honest with the amazing people God has placed in my life. And only then can I truly progress in my journey to true holiness.  More importantly though, I was reminded tonight that I am commanded to forgive. 

Matthew 6:14 says,  “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” 

 This stopped me in my tracks; I had not forgiven yet, and it was also several friends that reminded how important forgiveness is to this journey I am on. It is a journey to holiness that is not been easy. It has been painful and hard and I have truly hated parts of it, and cried many tears, but it is a process that will last a lifetime. It is a process that I have to go through and one that I absolutely will never walk alone. Jesus will be there each step of the way. 

Because He died on the cross for the sins of the world and forgives me I know I need to forgive those who have hurt me, disappointed me, and also, I need to forgive myself, and know I have done all I can in these situations and move on.

 For far too long I have let these experiences define me. They don't any longer! 

I want to be known for my love for others and for Him only! To shine His mercy, grace and forgiveness to the dark world around me. I am ready to walk a new path and be stronger because of the past!

So tonight, I forgive. Even though those I am truly, 100% forgiving will likely not read these words, I forgive them, and only wish the best for them, wherever their journey takes them. 

I am choosing joy tonight.

I am choosing forgiveness tonight.

I am choosing to be the women God wants me to be.

Blessings,

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